As i enter the funeral i don’t feel scared or anxious. I just kept smiling and relax myself to not cry in public. But by the time i saw her lying inside the coffin my heart starts to grieve. 5 seconds is the longest time that i can stare at her, look at her face and her whole body like that because i don’t have the strength to face it. It’s not the usual thing that we talk and i can’t accept the fact that she is already gone forever. I can’t say na wala na yung lola ko na makulit, maingay, mabiro at laging naghahanap ng majojowa (one of her alltime jokes) I thought i already knew that she can no longer stay. But no i never thought that this would be so hard! ;( Letting her see suffer is one of the worst feeling. But finally now that your up there i know your healed in heaven and God is with you at peace nanay. I love you so much!